.: My All and All

Thursday, September 10, 2009

My All and All

I tend to focus on and ruminate over a word or phrase that comes to mind. A particular term that continues to "visit me" is striving. I had a pretty good idea of the definition, but being a wordsmith and lover of words, I decided to look it up. Here's what I found at dictionary.com:

1.	to exert oneself vigorously; try hard.

2.	to make strenuous efforts toward any goal.

3.	to contend in opposition, battle, or any conflict; compete.

4.	to struggle vigorously, as in opposition or resistance.

5.	to rival; vie.

Ah, yes . . . this is exactly what I thought! It is also exactly what I have been doing lately! I've also noticed lately that many others in my life have had a week or a month, or a year or even a lifetime of striving. And what are we striving for?

I asked myself that question the other day. "What, Mary, is it that is causing you so much struggle? What are you laboring for?" I know Jesus offers us an easy burden and a light yoke. Why is it, then, that I don't lay down MY burdens and take on His?

It is exhausting, this striving. It wears us out and beats us down. It doesn't matter what good or joy there is in our lives. Striving is always in the background, like white noise, if we don't give it over to the One who has already borne our burdens and won us a victory over this world.

Striving is spinning our wheels, believing we are in control, we are in charge, we are the masters of our own destinies. Hard work is a noble thing! Don't get me wrong! I believe in hard work! I believe in 'fighting the good fight' and doing what needs to be done to advance God's kingdom on earth. That's not striving though! Striving leaves out God, because there's isn't any room, or any energy to include one more component of the struggle. Striving is like there's too much friction; going against the grain; swimming against the tide.

Hard work sees the light at the end of the tunnel. Striving can't even see a pin dot of light anywhere on the horizon. Okay, I think I've belabored my point. Over the last several days, this poem has come to me. It is a prayer, really, offering over my striving to the One who lifts us on eagle's wings. I pray the words minister to you as well.

Lord of my striving

Lord of my ease

Lord of my journeying

Lord of my rest

Lord of my labor

Lord of my respite

Lord of my past

Lord of my days

Lord of my future

Lord of my hours

Lord of my burden

Lord of my comfort